just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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