Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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