So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize