About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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