got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
