Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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