Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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