it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
