I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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