If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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