Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
