names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
