Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
