i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
