You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I forget how to act sober
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
