I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
