just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You pole danced in your parka.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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