she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
