you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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