cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
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Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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