Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
