will power is for people who don't want to get laid
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I lost the right to judge tonight
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
