Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
