This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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