I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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