4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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