I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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