He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
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Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
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Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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