she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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