i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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