fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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