Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
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you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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