I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize