When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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