So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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