I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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