It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize