That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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