Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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