I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
i think my cat just said my name.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
