just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
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she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
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Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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