dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
