I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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