Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i came on her dog
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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