I puked a lego.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
