I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
