Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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