someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Randomize
