69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
