I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
