I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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