your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
