toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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