Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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