Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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