Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
