Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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