Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
