His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
