I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
