White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
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