I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
